What? I was promised Bacon.

No, whoever promised you bacon is a liar and your best next move of action would be to kick them in the shins, because this blog is not about bacon. I know, it's a cheap cop-out. Promising you something as delicious and wonderful as bacon, but lets think about this for a second:

How would you get bacon from the internet?

Sure, you could have it mailed to you or you could order it somewhere and go pick it up. But honestly it is impossible to get bacon from the internet. Until they invent a Bacon Printer, you are pretty much S.O.L. So even if this blog was about something as amazing as Bacon, seen here:

(Image may or may not be from googling the word "bacon", also, that is a fucking place-mat of bacon.)

You would not get bacon from it. You would just have to look at delicious pictures of bacon all day, sitting your office or wherever your computer might be, wishing you could run and buy delicious bacon only to eat it in the most carnivorous of fashions. Isn't that a little masochistic of you? Coming to a blog longing for bacon when you are trapped a job that is no where near as great as something like bacon. Your co-workers are going to be like:

Coworker: Are you looking at bacon?
You: Yes?
Coworker: Why?
You: Because bacon is amazing
Coworker: Fair enough, did you catch The Game last night?
You: Um, can't you see I am looking at bacon?
Coworker: Oh sorry.


Then they will go off and tell your Boss and fellow co-workers (or cats if you work at home like me. Don't worry, they judge you just as much) that you are looking at a blog about bacon. Then other coworkers will come by and see you looking at pictures of delicious bacon, seen here:

(More google images fun, also, look at that bacon. I would like to eat it all now, please..)

And they'll be like, "OMG BACON!" That is if they are hip on the internetz. They would probably actually say, "Holy shit, is that delicious bacon?" Now lets stop for a second. This is probably the cool people in the office. Sticklers that are all about 'work' and 'productivity' will probably send you an passive aggressive email like this:

Dear Jenkins,

It has come to our attention that you are spending a little bit too much time browsing the internet and not working on that very important project for next weeks branch meeting. I would hate to see you lose your job in a time where the economy is so down. It would be very easy to replace you and very difficult for you to get another job.

So lay off the bacon, and lets get back to staying focused!
 

Executive Manager of Boring
Mr. John Smith the Third-millionth
555-555-5555

But let's got for real, that asshole probably sends you like 20 different forwards a week or wants to talk about sports or something that is NOT bacon half of the time.

But lets get back to what this blog is not about: Bacon, seen again here:

(OMGWTFBBQBACONAHFDJSKFSDA)

No this blog is not about bacon. So what is it about you say? Well I have no idea yet. Stop asking me so many questions. We are talking about bacon here. So shut up and listen to some awesome things about bacon.

Did you know that last year, on the list of 100 things to look out for in the year 2010, one of those things was Bacon? I did. Citation? Who cares. Bacon is fucking awesome, and you know it. 

(Yes, it exists and you want it.)

 You can't help but notice that bacon has been everywhere this year. How many times has bacon been thrown in your face? I have once, but that is only because my boyfriend and I are freaking hilarious and throw food at each other. If you watch cooking shows (like me because I am also a masochist like you) there has been an influx of bacon based foods or just adding bacon anywhere. Sure its been around since people realized they could eat delicious pig and turn it into something oh so magical.

(Yes, someday you too can be delicious bacon, piggy!)

But it's true. Here is another fact you may not know: Hipsters love bacon. Did you not notice? Just google "Hipster Bacon" and see for yourself. They fucking love it. I don't know why. Maybe its because of the Bacon Vodka, because Hipsters also love Vodka. But that is okay. Hipsters will love anything that is hip (oh ho, I see what you did there). I'm waiting for Hipsters to start collecting VHS's, myself. I can already see it coming.

But I'll save hipsters for another day. Today is about bacon (not).

 (Just what you need to get the bacon out of your teeth. BACON!)

But I think I might be done not talking about Bacon for today. I have been staring at all these pictures and it is making me probably 75,000 times more hungry than I was when I was just talking about bacon. So lets move onto the last part, and what this Blog is more about: other things to entertain you (because I am clearly not enough).
 

-Hyperbole and a Half: The God of Cake - If you don't read this blog, you should start. I almost pee'd myself reading this one.

 -This Picture - Oh internetz, you are so silly.

-The 10 Foods Everman Should Eat Before He Dies - I have only had a few of these 

-This Cockatoo Dancing to To 'Whip My Hair' - I am a sucker for Cockatoo's being hilarious and this one is no exception. Get it, Cockatoo, get it. 

-Lightning Victim News Tape Mess Up - Clearly she is a robot, you do not have to cover up your lies local news media.

Enjoy. Till next time, lots of Bacon.
-Mitch